


The Divine Comedy of Errors

by Rionarch



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Accidental Marriage, Chloe Decker Needs A Hug, F/M, Oh God Yes, Step-Satan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-20
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2020-10-24 16:24:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20709023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rionarch/pseuds/Rionarch
Summary: Post Season 3.Just when Chloe thinks she has the chance to deal with her partner being the actual Devil, another hiccup lands on their doorstep. Somehow she didn't think a courthouse marriage to Lucifer would quality as an Act of God but here they are.One way or another they'll get their annulment and get back to being partners...right?





	The Divine Comedy of Errors

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Will you be my shoe?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20755136) by [Edge_sama](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Edge_sama/pseuds/Edge_sama). 

> For the Deckerstar Big Bang! My partner was the lovely Edge and I'll be cross posting their art once it's uploaded.

Like any good story, there was a beginning.

I know it wasn't all that much to you or that we’d know how it went but it was a Beginning. 

Scant forty five hours after the death of Cain, an error of paperwork that had been several months lost finds itself resolved into the letter box of ones Lucifer Morningstar, Candy Fletcher,…

And Chloe Decker.

It had been something in the works for a while but a slight tweak here and there wouldn’t destroy what He’d set into motion. Please, just hear me out. 

…

With the various tattoos and embellishments on his body, Marcus Peirce wasn’t able to be buried in the Beth Israel cemetery he’d had a plot of land purchased for. The forensic accountants determine he had roughly five burial spots, all under different alias, known in the past thirty years- it made for the case of a great con artist.

Through the sheer fantastic irony Assumption Church had been able to take care of matters and bury him as close to the accordance of faith would allow.

What Chloe knew now was that it was different ways for Cain to bury his identity and recollect a life somewhere else. It was like comparing pears to apples: Marcus was an immortal bible character that she’d been in a relationship with and very nearly married. Not an ounce of it had been true.

“I really don’t know what to do with any of this Marcus.” It was barely days that she was out of work and everything with Lucifer was coming to a head. The last time she’d seen him was yesterday at Charlotte’s funeral service.

She was one of the four people to have gone to Pierce’s and their hollowed eyes told her everything she needed to know about the others. They knew. She hated it a little bit that they had been able to believe what they were told and it was years of foolishly brushing Lucifer aside. There were too many things storming around inside of her to pull through.

“I need some to explain all of this to me.” It was an empty request to his grave. The small crowd dispersed as a priest walked out of the nearby church and into the graveyard. He looked slightly disoriented enough that she stepped up and held onto his arm.

“Father? Are you okay?” He blinked and took in his surroundings.

“Did you call for me?” Chloe shook her head dumbly as he kept looking around. “I would have sworn I heard someone asking for me…peace be with you.” He walked away and Chloe wondered if she would still have given a blessing if he knew exactly who her partner was.

She closed her eyes and shuddered at remembering what Lucifer’s real face had been. Yesterday she told him she needed to deal with this, alone, but that might not have been what she really wanted. What she wanted was for all of this to make sense again.

…

The sound of a slot machine goes off during his contemplation of the utter mess his life had arrived to. There were suspensions across the board of their team until the FBI had sorted out the mess with Marcus Peirce and the Detective had only been by once.

Twice, maybe, if you included Charlotte’s funeral.

“Hello Candy. As much as I would love to-“ She interrupted him like most of the women in his life tended to. 

“I think _ you’ve _ been more naughty than you thought Mis-ter Morn-ing-star.” She’d affected the bubbly accent from her days as Candy Morningstar and popped what sounded like gum to truly sell it. He sighed into the phone.

“Love, you’ve no idea.”

“The good news is that our marriage has been annulled.” Good news but not the shining point of his day, when Candy continued “and not because of Las Vegas city laws. Turns out you’re a bigamist.” His drink spewed from his mouth across the bar Patrick had only just wiped clean.

“I assure you _ not! _” He never got married- never even considered it! Before using Candy to con his family. She was now laughing at him from the other end.

“Check your mail. Talk to you later!” In a hurried frenzy Lucifer ran his desk and mail and there, lying innocently between a court summons and invoices were two inconspicuous certified letters. The first and lighter of the two were the official declaration of his annulment to Candy Fletcher.

The second was his marriage certificate to Chloe Decker.

…

“I didn’t marry Lucifer!” Dan quirked his eyebrow at the pieces of paper on the kitchen table as Chloe paced back and forth in her pajamas. With Trixie at school and their suspensions it was easier for him to not stay where there were so many memories of Charlotte.

“Did you finish reading it or are you just lost in the marriage part?” She whipped around and threw some trash away. Ella’s texts had been ringing up her phone with whatever update she could give on the precinct that she’d just turned the volume off hours ago.

“What else is there?!” He hadn’t become a detective because he was a dirty cop and not able to piece a few things together.

“Look at the date. It’s your father’s trial.”

“Dan! These aren’t even our signatures!” He twisted the paper around some and saw familiar curls in the letters.

“You’re right. They’re Charlotte’s.” They had been too many things on Chloe’s mind to parse that one out.

“So Charlotte decided that after that whole third degree about my bad work and conning you that Lucifer and I needed to be married.” She threw the wet rag into the sink.

“I think this was during the out of body experience. It fits, kinda.” Dan sifted through the paperwork and the court transcript he’d taken from some of her things. “It was done the same day that you and Lucifer basically vowed to be each other’s partner in front of the judge, your mom, and his step mother.” She made a face at him.

“Chloe, you weren’t listening. The barrister was _ awkward _. The jurors thought you two were already in a relationship.” She sighed. It was all a little too much that day. Her father’s killer walking free, the helplessness. If she sat down too long and tried to think about what her dad meant in the Grandest of all grand scheme of things she’s be driven to drink…almost as much as Lucifer.

“Okay. It’s one piece of paper. We can get an annulment.” Dan snorted and grabbed his keys.

“Right. Like things ever go easy with Lucifer. I’ll pick Trixie up on Thursday. “ It was like a joke. The quips Lucifer always made about his family had so much more sense to them now- she’d act the same if her life could be changed at a whim. Worse yet is how little time she now had- she _ had _ to talk to the Devil.

…

Lucifer shuffled into Linda’s office and did not bother with any pleasantries or delights of his day. 

“Did you know Doctor, that I am married?” Linda seemed puzzled at the non-sequitur start of the events.

“I’m going to be honest with you Lucifer. Given the situation with Chloe and Peirce, I’m going to direct this conversation-“

“I’m married to _ Chloe Decker _.” Linda’s pen skittered across her notebook.

“I’m sorry, _ what?!” _ Lucifer continued his pacing, drank the water straight from its pitcher, and chased with his flask.

“My Dad- yes, I know it was him, don’t argue- found a way to botch up the paperwork a few years ago and suddenly I’m Mr. Chloe Decker! Or she’s-“ He gulped again and went for more water. “I’ve barely seen her since she saw my true face and now I’ve got to drag her to divorce court.”

“Alright. This is news. Very _ new _ news I’m guessing?” He gave her a quivering stare and she was frightened for the moment. “We should talk about the primary issues first. Chloe knows you’re the devil.”

“I’d finally given her the proof she needed.” It was all he said outside of the official police statement that they’d made separately. Linda closed her notebook and scooched to the edge of her seat.

“I need you to understand that you’re not going to be able to resolve this like you normally would. Take my advice or don’t, but Chloe is suspended from work. There are no cases, no _ distractions _ from what the two of you need to come to terms with.”

“That what? I’m the true form of mortal terror?” Linda stayed silent and allowed him to calm down. Lucifer was already breathing easier after his rush in.

“That there is a magnitude behind your relationship that she hadn’t previously considered real.” She crossed her legs and tried to drag them both back into the ‘normal’ proceedings of his therapy. “Perhaps it’s a good thing you and Chloe have to confront, sorry back choice of words, _ handle _ this…paperwork. It can give you a conduit to work through. Your, uh, selective hearing aside, therapy has served you best when you take actions on it.” He’d calmed down slightly as Dr. Martin gave him a quick point breakdown of how he should gracefully let Chloe have her requested space and keep himself in check.

…

He'd made his way back from therapy with Linda and thoughts heavy on his mind. It was almost enough to distract him from the camera flashes from the entry way- this was nothing terribly new for him. He was Lucifer Morningstar, after all, even if the catcalls were more align with 'why was his marriage kept under wraps' and 'why did he and Chloe arrive separately' and was that _ news _ to him.

Patrick eyed him up and gave a significant glance at Chloe Decker at the bar and had the room cleared quickly, leaving him and _ his wife _ alone.

"Hello Detective." Chloe turned around and looked at his shows, up to her shirt, and...past his ear. He'd seen her do this with defense attorneys when she didn't want them to hunt for any weakness in her.

"...I was going to call or text you. Every time I do I see how you'd put your number in my phone." It was a cheap petty joke, but when he'd finally gotten a phone, he put himself into her contacts with the devil emoji next to it. Where there was once humor was a heaviness an unhappiness. "I take it you got the mail?"

"I swear to you this wasn't something I had manipulated anyone into. You must understand by now that regardless of the truth between us I hold you in the highest regard. To be manipulated like that... I am _ sorry _ Chloe." Lucifer always hoped he'd be able to say her name with the sort of hopeful casualness he'd done so before he had their first truth and her tiny thread of divinity running through her. It was not there yet.

She still wasn't looking at him.

"I know. I know about that, at least. Dan looked at the paperwork," and if that didn't twinge something in him, "and he recognized the handwriting as Charlotte's. He thinks it happened while she was having her out-of-body experience." He walked around and put the bar between them to pour her a drink, more for him and less for her. It gave them both a distraction that she picked up on very quickly.

"There's something more to that, isn't there?"

"Quite." She tapped her fingers on the bar.

"And how am I going to find out about these details? Next murder conviction? Court Appearance? Is there a plague of locusts I need to start planning for?" Lucifer drew in a breath as the next step in the process started. The anger and seeming betrayal everyone felt when they found out he was well and truly the devil. The detective was the first one he'd known so well and so long that the experience was painful.

"It's a matter of what you want. Dr. Martin knows many of the details though perhaps not to the depth you'd want. Maze might answer your questions especially if she's feeling particularly guilty. I believe your best bet might be my brother, Amenadiel. Rest assured he remains an angel and conscientious of our Father." There was no measure of peace he could offer her but he'd be damned over again if he didn't find a way to drag his asshole of brother back down here to account to the detective everything she deserved to know and more. Be Not Afraid had never been his schtick anyway.

"Not from you?" He slammed his drink down and spilled some over the sides so abruptly she jumped in her seat.

"Detective you can't even look at me." Whatever else might have happened paused in the wake of a very over eager paparazzo stumbling into the bar and taking a series of quick set photos before Patrick threw him out.

There were worse things on heaven and earth that could be dreamed by mortal man and the sheer _ irony _ of him chasing away the tabloids was something Lucifer wasn’t too accustomed to. He enjoyed his notoriety.

The Detective did not.

The now all too familiar paperwork was sitting between them even as he had the bouncer usher the daring cameraman out. It was yet another time his open door policy had less than stellar effects.

“My apologies, Detective. I’ll…have this sorted out and we’ll be back to our status quo. The devil’s in the…” Lucifer trailed off. The jokes and puns felt more like a lead weight than humor.

“The devil’s in the details. I know.” Her voice was raspy from disuse and not the drink. It might have been the briefest conversation they’d had with one another yet. He topped her off.

“Truly.”

"Please tell me." She still wasn't looking at him but the ice needed to be broken somehow. This was more of the progress he'd been expecting since her personal revelation.

"In the Beginning... There was Mum and Dad." There were questions and explanations, some details glossed over, and Lucifer could see the bright eyed effects of her intellect shining through. Even through her own trauma there was still the _ detective _ peeking through her fears. Some of her questions were pointed to cases at hands, especially in regards to Charlotte. The first real smile he'd seen on her came with he quip "so Dan had sex with you mother-" and the tirade that followed.

It felt like such a short time yet the people started trickling into the club and Patrick couldn't hold back either interested parties or the paparazzi anymore.

"About Amenadiel; why did he want me to not believe in you so badly that he _ staged _ shooting himself?" Lucifer scoffed.

"Well that one is easy. He's a dick and didn't think the celestial and humanity should have anything to do with the other. His misconceptions were corrected in shall we say the _ biblical _ manner," he wagged his eyebrows to prove the points, " and besides. I'm infernal. The Silver City's rules no longer apply to me."

"Detective would you feel comfortable continuing this conversation upstairs? I still feel that there are answers that are owed to you." She looked around then as well and felt the discord from her sweater and the club wear of Lux's clientele that her working uniform didn't guard her against.

"Yeah. Yes, let's...there's still a lot to talk about." There was an awkward dance around in the step forwards- step back- remove hand as they walked over to the stairs to the lift. His gut churned on the fact that they were so out of sync she couldn’t even handle their previous day to day interactions anymore.

...

“Former Actress and Night Club Owner’s torrid love affair in local precinct.” Chloe stare down at the tabloids, including the print expose that covered _ s _even glossy pages. At best the content had been neutral, the worst of it bringing up both their previous marriages, her history of assault , and whatever they could find on Pierce. Thankfully to the FBI investigation not much was being left open for the press, not that they needed more chum in the water. 

Another site had her topless scene and one of Lucifer’s nude escapades. Both of the Brittanys had DMed her _ private _ Instagram and said they’d stay away from Lucifer “now that she put a ring on it”. A random message from a Bethany Sloane, too. 

If her professional reputation hadn’t already taken its hits this would just about do her in.

Lucifer frowned at what she was reading and tugged her phone away before bringing the whole bottle over between them.

“I think you’ll believe me now when I say I know a little something about bad press.” He looked like he was afraid to touch her, and he might be right. Chloe could look at him and see the same Lucifer as she always had and a few seconds later remember reflections in distorted warehouse mirrors. He went on, “Although we should be expecting a few wedding gifts our way, it seems. Kanye’s tweeted his congratulations.”

“I know what you’re talking about but this just doesn’t feel the same and being a storybook villain.” He laughed at her and scrolled through her phone some more.

“A little less temptations in the desert and more Perez Hilton?”

“Ugh. Do I have to ask if any of that was real?”

“Mhhmm. Believe it or not, yes. Those couple of days it was less about tempting his soul and more of me screaming that he was being a bloody idiot. Not unlike Michael’s constant angst about the Judea. He’s always begging them to just leave instead of trying to make golems.” She looked confused and he’d explain.

“The Jewish people have always been closer to Michael and he’s sort of taken them under his literal wing.” She nodded and took another sip.

“Right. And, what, the whole crucifixion was just a bad party? Was Judas really running around trying to get Jesus to reel it in?” Lucifer turned around fully to look at her profile. There was an incredible intention in her words that sounded…familiar.

“I have to ask: what’s your understanding of Judeo-Christian _ storybook _ s _ ?” _ She sighed and gave him an exasperated look. 

“Jesus Christ Superstar. That Prince of Egypt cartoon. Uhm,” He popped his lips and stared out further.

“So when _ you _ said you didn’t believe in the celestial-“

“I meant it.”

“And all of the proofs I might have offered, most of my jokes they’ve just…”

“Well not gone completely over my head but Ella definitely gets them more than I do. Lucifer, when I said I didn’t believe you were the devil it wasn’t about _ you _. My parents never put a lot of focus on religion. Why would I go to Sunday school when dance classes would get me a role?” Chloe started at him and tears welled up in her eyes.

“I still don’t care that you’re who you are. It was a lot to find out that the afterlife is real and there’s a lot of baggage that goes with that.” Chloe took his hand and smooth down his wrist. “I haven’t even gotten the chance to take this all in and then bam, we’re married.” She moved again and paced back and forth in front of the window.

“I was half afraid that I was going to find you gone, again. It feels so underwhelming that this was what all the secrets were about.”

“It’s underwhelming that I’m the devil? What are you expectations of me then.” He was flabbergasted; underwhelming! The very insult to his person.

“Being the devil isn’t about you! It’s about what other people say. Kanye West is tweeting about our marriage! I know who you are, Lucifer, and that doesn’t match what people are afraid of.” She stopped and sat down again.

“I promise you. I’m not afraid of who you are or who you think you are. But Lucifer, this isn’t right. None of this makes sense or-or is even close to okay. There is so much more in context that I need to take in now.” There was some hesitation in her hands but they ended up on his wrists in a mock of a hand hold. Lucifer looked into her eyes and felt there was relief that there was finally no flinch from her.

"We're going to be okay, Lucifer. We'll just get this annulled, I'll take some time off to get used to all this, and we'll go back to being partners." It was the end of their day and only the start of his night.

…

The lack of work was going to drive her insane if Lucifer didn’t first. She was learning to be okay with him being the Devil and they were working through the paperwork but it was a Venn diagram of life that shouldn’t be working.

They didn’t have any cases and they shouldn’t have this much to talk about and do. Yet every morning he’d text and she’d give an implicit yes with that she was doing that day. The interviews with witnesses became a late brunch at a café they’d both wanted to try. The first few days had been a little more than hectic with the paparazzi but it was slowly settling down. As of today there was only one camera man dedicating film to them and a few high schoolers with iphones.

“Very little in these books will help you. Living with Maze has probably conditioned you to some of the worst Hell has to offer. There are a number of Satanists that would give their right arm for the insight you have.” There was still something she didn’t want to leave around at home, especially since Trixie would pick up on them quickly, so the annotated editions of Faust from a few different authors laid out in front of her.

“I read these books and I can see you doing all of these things so clearly.” Today it was a tea market in Chinatown and little cups of samples scattered their table. 

“So, how about Aleister-”

“Crowley? Don’t know him.” Chloe pulled her copy of Faust out. 

“Yes, dear Johann came the closest to hitting the proverbial nail on the head. A nice wild vacation in decadence and inhibitions, women and fun to be had everywhere.” He looked wistful as if remembering a party from the last weekend.

“Someone died!”

“Oh come now. Someone’s always dying- its our line of work isn’t it detective?” Chloe cringed at the thought of work- both of their cases were being reviewed very critically before they even had a chance to come back. Lucifer went on.

“It’s why we understand each other as well as we do. We both want justice and for criminals to pay for what they’d done,” now that he wasn’t hiding (as much) Chloe gulp and saw the fiery iris flash before dimming again, “not to handle the living. You became a Detective not a doctor.”

“What is it that you did before work? Is this how you spent all of your free time?” Lucifer shot back a green tea blend, blanched, and went back to his flask.

“Favors and deals to be done. Orgies. Getting up with the way the world had changed since I’d last been up here. Experimenting with new drugs; although, really, you have nothing on the pure fire opium from back when. That was truly the height of your pharmaceutical achievements.” She felt herself staring as he flagged down for a few more cups of tea. When he talked about human as she was and he was not it felt like there was a chasm that would never be crossed.

“It’s the work with you that I appreciate the most. Each day of the week has a meaning now.” And then sometimes he was so close she could reach out and touch him. A tray of crackers came with a polite greeting along with their refills. “Surely you had some hobbies and freetime?” Now he was just pouring the liquor into his tea.

“Not really. Mom pulled me out of regular school after I graduated primary and I worked on getting my High School diploma while she was on set or working on my auditions. After that was the police academy and then I had Trixie.” If Lucifer hadn’t been around she would have driven herself crazy.

“My brother has more hobbies than you do. You need to reassess your life.” Chloe snorted.

“Idle hands are the devil’s playground.” It was one of the hundreds of idioms about the devil, hell, and damnation.

“Detective had I any impacting on your hands playing with yourself tell me. Vanity... is definitely my favorite sin. It's so basic, self-love; the all-natural opiate.“ The full on leer he was sending her made her face flush red and turn the conversation away _ immediately _. “You’re blushing!” There was a loud click of a camera going off and the mood left the table.

“We’ll be back to normal soon Detective.” She sighed and passed the cup around the table swirling spilt tea over the glass top.

“What is going to be normal for us? Your secret-“ (“Not a secret!”)- aside, we both had slightly more than average public lives. Do you know how few people actually questioned the marriage papers? Like, four people.” Lucifer grinned wickedly at her and said without understanding a single iota of irony:

“I recommended we punch them. You go first. I won’t judge.”

Chloe drank the cold tea to settle her stomach. 

…

They sat down chipper as could be in Lucifer’s lawyer’s office. In the efforts to appease both himself and Chloe, Lucifer had made sure all of the paperwork was done meticulously and the arrangements for their annulment were iron clad.

“I’m sorry Mr. Morningstar, but the two of you do not have grounds for an annulment.” Chloe’s jaw dropped as he spit out the water he’d been drinking. He could see a little muscle on top of her left eye twitching.

“Larry, dear Larry. I _ have _ started this process before. Everything’s laid out; black and white. I even got it notarized!” She placed her hand on his foreman to calm him and butted in;

“I think the better question is why do we _ not _ have the grounds for an annulment? We weren’t even aware of any paperwork being filed and we’re not seeing each other romantically.” He felt his stomach drop, a little, as her casual rejection of them. To his own benefit Larry Hirschfield looked even more nervous dealing with the Detective than answering him.

“Well Miss Chloe,” good evasive move there, “even give the lack of of, uhm, consumption of your marriage.” There was that eyebrow twitch again. Larry pulled out three bundles of paperwork and what appeared to be a school form.

“What we do have is substantial enough evidence to show that you were in committed relationship. Take for instance the fact that you’re each other’s emergency contact-“

“Happens all the time in work partnerships-“

“-the fact that Lucifer here owns the building you’re currently living in-“

“No! Maze found the apartment, not Lucifer!” Larry raised his eyebrow and pulled out two of the deeds.

“Yes, Mazikeen Smith did find your rental property _ on behalf _ of Lucifer Morningstar. My private detective (“Oh, you have one too?” did _ not _ merit an elbow in his ribs) shows records of Lucifer calling several realtors regarding your living situation.” The detective leaned over and held her head in her hands, fingers combing gently through her hair and throwing her bun in complete disarray.

“Lucifer is my landlord.”

“On the bright side, now you don’t have to worry about that safety deposit Maze voided.” Larry coughed and pulled out a couple more pages.

“There’s also the matter of a Beatrice _ Morningstar _ on a school roster? The matter is complicated because several of her forms switch between Espinoza, Decker, and, well, three that list her as Morningstar.” Lucifer felt himself openly staring while Chloe stutters out a few more questions.

“I. Okay, we know about the school tour one and that shouldn’t have enough standing. I’m almost afraid to ask what the other two are.” Larry coughed and pressed a faxed copy towards them.

“A priest by the name of Frank Lawrence,” Lucifer gasped, “had registered a christening certificate and holy communion form for Beatrice Morningstar…which I guess you two _ also _ didn’t know? In the eyes of the Church, Lucifer is listed as Beatrice’s father.” At their blank faces, Larry Hirshfield went on,

“I suppose you both might make a case of identity theft? But I’m not sure on the legality of this consent might be. In summation…your lives are too willingly entwined to be considered for an annulment. Not mentioned the state of Lucifer’s will. You’ll have to move to divorce proceedings. As I am Mr. Morningstar’s lawyer, Ms. Chloe, I cannot represent you.” He provided them both with packets of all of the documentations copied for their own benefit.

They were still in awe as they sat on the bench staring into the distance waiting for the school dismissal after that disastrous meeting.

“Detective. Do you still believe that my Father does _ not _ have something to do with this?”

“Nope. No. I fought with Dan’s mother for weeks to not have her enrolled in Sunday school and or any of the rites. I don’t-I _ didn’t _ believe in any of this. And now God has just done it.” He’d only heard a few stories from Dan’s side of the family and had never met the Douche’s mother so it was hard to derive what she might have felt about Satan working with her (corrupt) son.

“It’s a bit refreshing you know. Whenever I speak with Linda she’s always telling me that I need to take more accountability for my actions and completely ignores what a dick my Father truly is.” Chloe hmm-ed a bit _ too _ much at the accountability part.

“Even if we ignore that part…you own my building.”

“So it seems I haven’t been breaking into your apartment. Landlord’s rights. If it helps any I know what Mazikeen’s been dabbling into and I’m _ more _ than willing to kick her out for you.” It was nearly time to pick Beatrice up from school and he’d promised an outing as celebration for their annulment- however wrong that’s been. Fortunately, the school was a short walk away and they could continue their conversation away from the achtung ears of other parents.

“It’s curious to me what you choose to let bother you,” Lucifer began lightly. As stressed as she was for not working the few days they’d had off recently did wonders for the tightness of Chloe’s shoulders.

“What do you mean?” It was a prescription of caution.

“You’ve handled the Devil being real well enough. I’m actually proud of your anger towards my Father- but,” He paused and some of the smaller children began to filter out. “is this arrangement we’ve been brought into something that has to be fixed?” He wouldn’t look at her while the meaning of his words found themselves

“We didn’t choose it. I know how you feel about that being taken away” And he’d read between the lines, same as her rejection of them before. She took Beatrice’s backpack from the girl and smiled up at him, “Team Lucifer, remember?” It felt less like an oath and more of a declaration that heaven, hell, and earth should all abide to.

“Why Chloe Decker, are you saying you believe?” She shook her head and steered them to the ice cream place. 

“No, but I think I have a better idea now.”

…

They’d received the soft serve ice cream and explained the Beatrice that they weren’t _ quite _ divorced yet. It was received with neither enthusiasm or anger but with disinterest.

“You’re not making a hot fudge volcano?” Beatrice gave her mom a Look and turned back to him.

“I haven’t done that in ages. Mom, I need to listen to a podcast for homework.” Chloe rolled her eyes and nodded as her daughter put in her earbuds and phone to something that was decidedly _ not _ school assignment. She was in effect completely blanked out to the world.

“What is wrong with your spawn?” he clearly pointed a finger at the child-not that she’s notice- and waited for the Detective to explain. He was Lucifer Morningstar. He doesn’t get dismissed by children of all things.

“She’s acting bratty, I know, but I’m trying to give her some leeway. Between the divorce, Dan, Charlotte’s death, Pierce,” Chloe let out a breath and went on, “me nearly dying, her fight with Maze…it’s a lot for her.” Chloe dove into her peach soft serve.

“But she’s lying, and not even well!” Clearly something more was going on that she was picking up on.

“It’s a part of growing up. You might not realize it because of your…,” she circled around his forehead where he _ still _ didn’t have horns, “but she was six when you met her. Trixie’s nearly nine now. You and Maze have been a formative part of her life for more than a third of it.” Lucifer did blink at that and look at the Spawn next to him.

She was taller, yes, and had more of a mouthful of teeth. Some of the roundness in her cheeks was hollowing out like her mothers and she’s hugged less, more aware of the personal boundaries between people. Beatrice was growing up.

“You told her we were still married and she’d didn’t even blink- no questions! The nanny that was eavesdropping was more curious than she was!”

“And what would you do?”

“Interrogate her! Remove the headphones and have her explain what’s going on in her head.” The Detective smirked at him.

“Can’t call be dolls and chocolate cake, can it? You just don’t like being ignored.” Lucifer was taken aback and she went on. “Trixie needs the time and room to grow into the person she’s going to become. Sometimes it’s confronting her with her manipulations, thanks for that by the way, and other times its treating her respectfully as a person. This here? It’s Trixie putting up her own boundaries the only way she knows how.”

“I don’t like it.”

“Welcome to parenthood.” Chloe tapped her spoon in a sardonic salute and smoothed down her daughter’s hair. Perhaps the day wasn’t a complete wash out.

…

“…and the DJ decided to just listen to her until her friend’s drug her off to sober up.” Lucifer adjusted his cufflinks and checked his watch for the minutes winding down the arbitrary hour Linda had assigned for him. Was there _ really _ any difference between ten am and ten pm?

“That’s very responsible of him. You, on the other hand.”

“Oh, before I forgot I need to schedule an appointment for someone else.” He saw Linda tense up and waved her worries away. “No one in my family. Well, actually. No. I’m bringing in Beatrice.” Linda pursed her lips and shook her head fast enough that her curls moved.

“Oh, oh no. Lucifer I do _ not _ work with children.”

“And I do appreciate that pragmatism from you, truly I do. But this is _ Beatrice _.” Linda reached over to his flask and took a smaller sip then he knew her capable of.

“I’ll bite. Why does Beatrice need a session with me?”

“Don’t you have another client?” He wasn’t often fidgety but scrutiny from Linda had always put him off a little bit.

“I’ve learned to leave the hour after yours free.” He rolled his eyes and sat back on the couch contemplating for a minute.

“Beatrice has of late not been impressed with much. She’s been ignoring everyone speaking to her by playing music louder than we are. The Detective has said that this is her way of putting up boundaries and that we should respect them.”

“I don’t think any of us really give Chloe nearly enough credit for being as well adjusted as she is. Those are Beatrice’s boundaries and it’s not uncommon for girls that age to start pressing back at parental figures.” Linda trailed off and took a deep breath. “Something I can’t help but notice, Lucifer, is that during the past two weeks you have not railed against your father and his involvement in your marriage to Chloe.” An eon could have passed in the time it had taken Lucifer to tense and up and relax again.

“This is about Beatrice.”

“These sessions are about _ you _.” She flipped through her notes and pulled out a red flagged sheet. “You have gone on hour long rants against every perceived ill your father had done to you including traffic construction in front of Lux, Joel Osteen Ministries, and cotton candy flavored vodka. It strikes me as important that other than stating what He had done…you haven’t complained about it.”

Still silent, Linda went on for him.

“How do you feel about being married to Chloe?”

“I think it isn’t fair to the Detective to have to be burdened with a lack of Free Will.” Lucifer stood and smoothed down the lines of his suit. “Regardless of any feelings I have on this I did not make this choice and neither did she. I hate my Father. I really do.” He walked over to the window and saw the slow bustle of a Los Angeles morning.

“When she saw me for who I was, Chloe asked for time. She didn’t get that- she found out she’d been duped into a marriage to the Devil. This was all on the cusp of everything else she’d had to deal with.” He fingered Maze’s dagger that was still in his pocket. “It’s unbearably cruel of him. There is very little in this world and your next that I wouldn’t do for the Detective… except I am unable to give her the only thing she’s asked me for. Is that what marriage is built on? Forcing your way through on broken promises?” Dr. Martin had no substantive answer.

…

She had never had a real reason to abuse the use of Lucfier’s generous offerings- until now. Across the penthouse of Lux, Chloe wheeled out three large white boards and the ultrapack of dry erase markers.

“Sorry Monkey, Dan’s going to be here in a few minutes for you. Do you have everything for the weekend?” She’d brought her along and waited for Dan before the crowds at Lux became too much for Trixie to see. Chloe wasn’t exactly able to keep her breakdown of everything supernatural in her living room (even if almost every supernatural _ being _ in Los Angeles had been there at least once).

She needed answers and Lucifer promised them to her. If she just happened to pull out photographs of what Linda’s ex-husband had put together on his own then so be it.

Trixie nodded and turned back to her phone game, earbuds in. Lucifer rolled his eyes and jabbed his head in a silent direction for her to do something even as he warmed up scales on the piano. She’d seen him nervous before when his go tos for seduction and charisma didn’t work; you can’t really give a child top shelf whiskey and the promise of a good time and the earbuds made it so that she couldn’t hear him.

It was actually a pretty genius idea.

Chloe shook her head to let him know that she was not going to fix his problem and started assembling the priority information in her need to know order. Lucifer jammed his hands down on the keys in a cacophony of noise.

“Right. Urchin,” he moved to stand in front of her and held his hand out. “Whilst your mother doesn’t seem fit to stop you, take out the ear buds. You can’t just go about ignoring everyone in the room.” Chloe couldn’t help but notice the only one that was being ignored was Lucifer and that was probably the closest thing to a cardinal sin in Lux (and now that was another topic her needed to figure out). She watched Trixie stare him down with an unimpressed look that was all Maze.

“If I give you the earbuds do you promise to leave me alone?” Lucifer got that very patient look on his face and held out his hand lower with his approval. A few strides later he dropped the earbuds on top of her paperwork.

“See? Easy and resolved. You’re welcome.”

“Ahem. You, ah… you might want to rethink your bargaining skills.” She smiled and pointed back at Trixie with the marker and watched the dawning horror on her partner’s face. Out of the overnight bag Trixie pulled out a set of novelty headphones topped with pink glittery devil horns.

“These are headphones not ear buds.” To prove her point she made the volume louder on her phone so that the static of the noise filled up the room.

“Big bad devil. Outwitted by a nine year old.” The elevator dinged and Dan walked in followed by the plume of smoke from _ his _ newest bad habit.

“Is that weed? Since when have you smoked- oh don’t mind she can’t hear us anyway!” Chloe tried to get to him lower his voice about Dan’s vape but he’d waved her off. Dan pinched the bridge of his nose and took another drag.

“Still with the music? Chloe, we have to do something about this.” Lucifer picked up the buds and mentioned that he’d already tried, when Dan noticed the glitter on Trixie’s head. “Wow. Does this mean I need a paternity test?”

“I don’t have horns! The weed, Douche?” Chloe didn’t know if she wanted a drink or an advil but both were going to wait until she was alone with Lucifer.

It was amazing that being alone with him didn’t scare her like she thought it would.

“Both of you stop. Trixie doesn’t need to hear about that. It’s not funny, Dan.” He grabbed the bags and plucked one of the foam pads off her ear.

“Let’s go, Monkey, sorry I’m a little late. Lucifer- my therapist just likes me more than yours does.” Lucifer’s jaw dropped. As the doors were closing Chloe heard Trixie ask him probably the more inappropriate questions of the weekend: “What’s a douche?”.

“Linda has been able to prescribe weed this whole time!” Chloe pulled out the first case and started on board one.

“Yeah, I think she wanted you to find that out never. I sort of expected more bargaining from you with Trixie. You should have seen that coming a mile away.” She started with a web of names, some with a question mark, and on purpose did not put Lucifer at the center of it all.

“It’s called acting out not acting in. I might not be able to control what you do with her but as long as she’s in here the willful ignorance has to go-“ and the glass tumbler he was carrying slipped to the ground as he went ashen faced.

“Lucifer! Lucifer are you okay? What happened?” Chloe watched him blindly reach for the couch in a daze staring in horrified awe.

“Great primordial fuck I’m turning into my Father.” He looked at his shaking hand and then Chloe noticed the blood. “This is bad. Oh, this is bad.”

“Yeah it is. You’re bleeding, here.” She pressed the bar towel on the cut and started picking up the larger pieces of glass. “I thought you said you weren’t supposed to bleed.” Lucifer took a swing straight from the bottle. 

“As with most everything you are the exception. My living kryptonite. Being around you makes me human- surely by now you’ve noticed that your immunity is quite singular. I’m fairly certain it has to do with that whole miracle nonsense.” Chloe gulped and added her name to the board, several question marks following, and gave a long stare at Lucifer as he half dressed the cut. 

…

“So, Douche, whats’ it like to be the originating member of the Divorced Chloe Decker Club?” Lucifer idled along the street grinning at passers by while Dan ungratefully did not share any of his crisps. Sure he might not have been as high as Dan (or at all) but it was the point of the matter. No one else had wanted to watch the remastered Weaponizer movie and it’d been a treat to toke up in a less than crowded theater. 

“Man you’re not actually divorcing Chloe cause you weren’t actually married.” He frowned down at Dan.

“The law says I am. Just because it wasn’t consummated-” Dan waved the bag of crisps to interrupt him. 

“Aw, screw that. I mean you weren’t _ married _ to Chloe. You haven’t had arguments about why there are used cups everywhere, that you _ hate _ that cauliflower “bake” she throws together. Marriage isn’t about a piece of paper- it’s about the relationships between two people.” Dan was a smidge smug about his accusations but that didn’t falter him him. 

“Well I am her partner by both of our admittance. Surely you must see that there is an undeniable connection betwixt us two.” He might have been back footed a little bit as the conversation continued into the 7-Eleven and Dan’s perusal of the slurpee machine. For this he’d be paying for Lucifer’s funions. Dan did and gave him yet another look of disbelief. 

“Right. If there’s such a connection _ betwixt _ you two...why are you getting the annulment?” Spitefully, Dan opened the bag of funions and began eating them, too. Lucifer was flabergasted. 

“Because we didn’t choose to-” He stopped himself short, realizing the implications of what he’d been saying. They weren’t _ married _ because they did not choose to move themselves as such. Dan poked him in the chest and handed the bag over. 

“See?” They stood outside a few minutes not really sure what to do in this idle time. Of course Dan wouldn’t consider them friends, he was not Chloe and the ease of their conversation wouldn’t come. Lucifer could tell there was something else on his mind besides degrading his marriage. 

“How are you holding up about Charlotte?” Ah. 

To everyone not in the know his Step Mother had just died when in reality…

“I’ve come to terms with my Mother’s passing from this plane of existence,” not a lie, “ I don’t...regret... How things had turned out with Pierce. I prided myself on being able to see the depths of people and somehow missed him.”

“He was easy to miss. Charlotte knew though.” Dan sighed and took another hit of his prescribed drugs- how unfair. “I need to ask you a favor.” Lucifer raised his eyebrow and knew to tread this one carefully. He never really got the gist of whether or not Dan now _ knew _as Chloe did but this was a loaded sentiment indeed. 

“If I can.” 

“Do not under any circumstances flake out on Chloe again. I know she’s still waiting to hear from the station but I’ve been cleared to go back to work. Just finishing up the bereavement leave and I’m back. I don’t think….”

“You don’t think the Detective will take it well that her dirty cop of an ex-husband gets the privilege of his job back while she’s being frayed at the edges.” Lucifer wished he’d have more formal attire to bother with to get the nervousness out. “This isn’t a favor you need to ask for, Daniel. Of course I’ll take care of it.” 

He remembered a time - it could have been weeks or even years- after his Fall that he had wondered what sort of spite his Father had to scorn him for his pride when a plethora of his siblings had the same vice in their back and gait. The Detective shouldn’t ever have to wonder about her worth. 

“Well, Daniel, this has been novel, hasn’t it? Really down to the heart of it.” Lucifer stepped down below the curb and gave the other man the illusion of power over the situation. “Usually it’s the Devil that needs to wine and dine before the favors and desires come eeking out. This is the first time I’d been taken for a ride with, with _ onion chips _ and action films.” Dan rolled his eyes but didn’t question the accusations. 

“You’re an asshole, I know. This is about Chloe and I know she’s not going to want to hear from me when she finds out. Ella’s already trying to keep a lid on it.” Regard was gone. It wasn’t too often that he felt like he’d been made a fool of but Daniel was more than capable of it on his warranted occasion. 

“What is it that you _ truly _ want? What’s your desire Daniel?” The weed had made his mental barriers weaker and the faint insulation clouded over his eyes. “Don’t be shy Daniel we’re all friends here.” Dan blinked and looked to the left before his gaze got dragged back to the Devil in front of him. 

“I want to let go of consideration.” Lucifer couldn’t quite understand- many a time he’d spoken to people and they sought to find absolution in their truths but that did not seem to be what the Douche was saying. 

“I love my family but I don’t want to have to think about what I’m doing will effect them. My choices shouldn’t have to matter to Chloe- we’re independent of each other. It’s like every time I try to shed that relationship off of me the universe trashes that idea. I tried to protect her and it back fired; I tried to ignore her life and that made it even worse.” The dubious part of the truth was that the person would believe it regardless of empirical evidence. 

“You didn’t try to protect her about Palmetto- you _ gaslit _her.” As had Amenadiel, quite possibly Cain, and he himself went along on the ride of delusion. There had been plenty of opportunities to show Chloe the truth in a way she would believe… and he took none of them. 

“I understand. Live life wild and free- and trust me I do appreciate the sentiment- with the guarantee of love and companionship waiting at the end of the day. Just as long as you don’t have to think about it.”

“Why do you think Chloe and I divorced and _ your _ her partner?” Dan gave a sad smile and the trance pulled away. “ I don’t care if you think it’s a favor or not. Chloe needs someone to not screw this up around her. My batting average isn’t really where it needs to be. I’d ask your brother but he always acts weird around her.” He waved good-bye and threw the trash out along the way.

It was guilelessly frustrating. 

...

Chloe took a sip of her latte and walked into the courthouse arm in arm with Lucifer, both of them without a lawyer. They weren’t contesting anything so it should be a simple matter filing some more complicated paperwork than the annulment would have. Lucifer looked like he was beaming at the prospect of them getting this over with.

“Such a lovely day for a divorce.”

“Still don’t get why we needed to dress alike.” She’d accepted Lucifer didn’t lie but _ loved _ playing a part. She’d seen him as Dan and as herself and today he’d insisted on making sure their colors were matching.

“I told you darling we need to present a united front. Besides after the atrocious candids I refuse to have our divorce picture taken like mismatched miscreants.” He’d taken to having some of the nicer photos of them framed and highlighted at Lux with the tabloid papers. She occasionally got DMs from party goers all with selfie’s.

For a night they had actually been trending on twitter. She was almost certain Lucfier’s stalker was the one who came up with #Deckerstar.

“Mmm. Does it say who’s on the docket?” Her partner peered over the signage and if anything his smile got wider.

“Detective. We’ve finally struck gold on this little affair; it is Judge Malbourne from the Pot Farm case. He doesn’t owe me a favor but knows what we are- you’ll be free to go after all this.” Her stomach dropped a little but she felt herself smiling back anyway. There was a still a lot that she needed to fix around her life and this...thing…with Lucifer couldn’t be her first priority. 

He’d always been so open about wanting his freedoms. Chloe couldn’t stand the thought of being his punishment.

“All rise. Presenting before Judge Malbourne in Docket C-234, Chloe Decker and Lucifer Morningstar.” The bailiff bade the judge to enter and Malbourne smiled down at both of them .

“What are we looking at today?” Lucifer smiled up at the judge and affected his best tone. It was times like this that when the perps said the Devil made them do it that she might have been a believer. The deepest part of her also knew who she would have followed in Heaven and that fact scared her more than the afterlife was.

“Divorce, your honor. You see there was a _ tragic _ mistake in paperwork some time back…” and he started to spin his yarn. The mistaken paperwork; his mother’s forgeries. The FBI investigation into Pierce and Charlotte’s investigation. In the end it sounded like something more out of a spy thriller than a little less than two years of their life together in more than one way. Every time he’s called out his Father it sounded more like a controlling mogul than the Power on High. Even Amenadiel was an actor in this play without a single lie.

Sometimes Chloe found it easier to forgive herself for not believing that Lucifer wasn’t what he said he wasn’t. But then again, he also wasn’t right about himself more than half the time.

“Do you have anything to add Ms. Decker?” The judge asked curiously.

“No sir. Like Lucifer said we’re partners and unfortunately that context wasn’t clear to some other parties.” If Chloe was thinking about the time they were almost more then that was just something that the latte knew.

“I think I’ve heard enough. This is some happenstance but I suppose that’s par for the course for Morningstar here.” The bailiff snorted. Malbourne signed off on the paper and nodded at his work.

“Your request for divorce has been denied,” And banged his gavel barely loud enough to make a sound over Lucifer indignant scream. Chloe knew he mouth was open and couldn’t help staring while her partner demanded the explanation this time.

“Lucifer, when I had made a mistake you were there with a solution. I got the love of my life back thanks to your insight and willingness to help others. Now, I’ve seen you around with Ms. Decker and have the proof of your partnership in front of me.” Malbourne smiled down at them.

“Call me a sentimental fool but I believe in love and I’m not about to let the two of your throw away the chance in your hands. Happiness can be found it just _ look _ for it. I’m denying your request for divorce and ordering a course of couple’s counseling. Next!”

Chloe was still stunned and felt around for their things. Lucifer wasn’t in that much better of a condition as the court reporter gave them their tickets and the information in case they need to pull a transcript up. Like either of them were going to forget that speech.

“This is impossible. That man is delusional.”

“Is it wrong that my first thought it that we already tried couples counseling? Would telling him that work?” Chloe didn’t know how to feel except that the walls were closing in on her and that Lucifer looked as stunned as she felt.

“We’re a bloody unsinkable ship.” 

…

The calendars for the next year were spread along Chloe's dining room table and the four of them were equipped with post it notes and enough highlighters to make an ugly mess of Martin Luther King Day of next year.

"I don't understand. We're three competent people and Lucifer. We should be able to figure out a schedule." Since the cat was out of the bag, Lucifer felt like it as okay to call Dan a Douche again. Given all their downtime it seemed like a sound idea to plan out the holidays and weekends for the next year.

Dan (and his family) wanted to have Trixie for Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas Day.

Chloe wanted the Fourth of July and New Year's Eve, as well as both Memorial and Labor Day weekends.

For whatever reason they couldn’t figure out, Lucifer started highlight "his" days for Mardi Gras, Halloween, and April Fools Day. Trying to tell him that he didn't have any custody fell on deaf ears. 

The holidays were easy. The Bank ones...were not. Trixie all but demanded that there would be no making her do _ anything _ on the three day weekends. She and Dan were working regular hours that day and it coincided with too many Carnival holidays for Lucifer to think about anything else. Trixie decided to be the bigger person and have them move on to other holidays.

"Lucifer, you do understand that you're not actually getting these days. Especially when the divorce is finished." Chloe asked the question already knowing the answer was going to be something chaotic.

"Well, I mean the paperwork when it gets resolved is just a formality." Dan raised his eyebrows and scooted Trixie to get ready to leave. "Formality?"

Lucifer coughed and adjusted his cuffs as if the paperwork had ruined the line of his suit. "If I'm ever to leave this Earthly plane," Chloe and Dan rolled their eyes at his dramatic reenactments, "The vast majority of my material wealth and enterprises have already been written to the Detective and her Spawn's name." Chloe dropped her pen, remembering some of what his lawyer had glossed over.

"_ What _? Lucifer you can't-" It was his turn to raise an eyebrow. "Can't I? Detective who else would I leave it to?"

“You know, this is part of the reason divorce is so difficult. Our lawyers had to hash out who was owed what.” Dan pointed between the two of them and ate the last of the carne asada. Trixie looked over at the calendar and frowned on her three day weekends.

“Well, how did you two manage the Spawn’s holidays before?” CHloe shook her head quickly while Dan winced. 

“Maze was always around.” Lucifer rolled his eyes and wrote his demon’s name down to their sputtering refusals. “Done.”

…

There was already a car parked outside of the Detective house by the time he had arrived. Given the make and questionable modal he’d seen previous, it looked like Linda was paying a house call to their esteemed friend- or a _ fun _ call if the smell of stoli in the air meant anything and quick murmured voices getting harsher in pitch.

“Hi Lucifer.” Beatrice sat on the bench outside staring into the flower bush and a sizeable chocolate cake in her lap with the word Sorry carefully scripted in what looked like more chocolate icing. She didn’t look delighted.

“Afternoon Offspring. What’s wrong? Usually you’re more excited about bribes and groveling.” There was no shame. They’d all done it and Beatrice was a master at manipulation that would serve her well in getting everything she’d want.

“It’s from…Maze came back this morning.” He was becoming more accustomed to the sad look in her eyes. They frankly looked too much like her mother’s when someone was hurting. “She said she was sorry and brought me this cake.”

“Then all is forgiven I take it?” Beatrice frowned and laid the cake aside.

“No. I don’t want her to be sorry and I don’t want to say it is okay. Tell Mom I’m going to Raquel’s house.” Lucifer watched and she avoided his eyes once again, and like lunch the other day, place her earbuds in and ignore the world around her.

Lucifer walked through the door and saw said bottle on the kitchen counter with a dish sponge with claw marks from a death grip that tore through the soft flesh- Maze, no doubt, had come home with her tail dragged between her legs as an apology to the adult Decker. 

“I’m not afraid you, I’m _ furious _ at you! Both of you!” Lucifer frowned and turned around the corner to the three women in the living room. Only Linda was sitting down, worried, and an alarmed look on her face whilst Chloe and Maze stood squared off to one another.

“Chloe, what I think Maze is trying to say-“ Linda began and was cut off by the demon.

“I said what I’m saying. The whole reason everything was kept quit is because we’re afraid _ people _ would judge like you’re doing!” Maze was on the defensive.

“I don’t care that you’re a demon! I care that you’re a bad friend!” Chloe was agitated enough to throw the book she’d been holding in her hand, into the corner of the room. Holy Bible was across the top in gilded lettering. Chloe walked around the room for a second not seeing him.

“This isn’t transactional; you hurt me, you say sorry, it’s over. Maze, you _ helped _ Marcus into my life _ and _my bed. You put a fucking murderer near my daughter!” Linda opened her mouth again and Chloe cut her off.

“Don’t you even dare. I _ was _ a police officer; I know the different between murder and self-defense. All it meant was that every morning for _ hundreds of years _ Marcus -CAIN!- woke up and decided to be the worst he could. He was the Sinnerman and you _ throw me to him _.” Lucifer realized he was still hidden in the shadows and understood a little better why Beatrice wanted to be out of the house at this particular time. It was disconcerting to hear the very judgements he’d feared from Chloe being given proper voice.

“I wanted to go home! The only way back was Lucifer forgetting his life here and bringing me.” Maze snarled back and put herself between the Detective and Linda, as if Chloe was the most freighting being in the room. She was.

“And what? Forget Chloe? Married to the very worst humanity had, you and Lucifer gone.” She let out an angry breath and put her face in her hands.

“Did Charlotte know?” Linda spoke up again.

“Charlotte knew of the…divine state of a few of our friends because she had memories of being in Hell.” Linda started carefully and went on. “I believe she knew that Pierce was the Sinnerman but not that he was Cain.” She took a deep breath. “and I’m sorry, Chloe, there was only so much I could say against patient confidentiality.” Lucifer winced already knowing that was the wrong thing to say.

“Mhhm. That was all you could say? You both knew what kind of man he was and wanted me to marry him. Charlotte’s the _ only _ one that tried to talk to me about it and she’s dead because none of you trusted her with what she needed to know. Lucifer, get in here. This is about you, too.” Caught.

Maze’s eyes snapped forward as he walked into the house proper and tried to offset the beat of the room with a joke.

“You know, when you smell that much vodka I thought it was going to be a different kind of party in here.” The Detective pointed at the couch and had him sitting next to Linda feeling very apprehensive over what was to come.

“I know none of you think I’m fun or a great person to live life with,” she held up her hand to stop their interruptions, “but do you understand what you’ve done? Charlotte is _ dead _ . I nearly married the leader of a crime syndicate.” Lucifer’s heart clenched as Chloe started tearing up and her face went flush red with anger. “I am on _ suspension _ and might lose my badge because of how close to this I was and you _ hid _ it from me.” She started pacing again and grabbed Maze’s to go bag over to them. 

“I worked my entire life to be a good cop and a good mother. You were my friends and you all made it so the worst choices were the ones to take. All of this? It has nothing to do with angels and demons. It’s all on you. Maze, Linda. Get out.” She threw Maze’s bag at her feet and stared down hell’s number one torturer. Her gaze didn’t linger until both women were out of her house and the door shut behind them.

“Detective, you will not lose your career or reputation over this. All that had occurred is a mess of My Father’s….and my own making.” It seemed the exhausted had caught up with her whirlwind emotions as she collapsed into the chair.

“I don’t want to make a deal with you.”

He sat next to her, they’re sides pressed together even as she bent over and kept herself bowed over. It bothered him to see her this hurt.

“No deals between us. Detective you’ve only ever tried to do you best…it would be unfit to see you punished for it.”

“Why didn’t any of you tell me he was the Sinnerman.” There it was. The black whole question that was circling them this whole time. Lucifer had always been truthful about himself but not so much with how this was handled.

“If it’s any consolidations Detective, you were not the only one taken in. My own perusal of the Sinnerman was because I thought it was an agent of my Father and wanted to undo what he’d done. When I’d found out that not only was Peirce was the Sinnerman, but also Cain? I had someone that understood _ exactly _ what my Father was. We had something of a friendship until the end there.” Lucifer only saw the difference in them after meeting Abel and by then it was already far too late.

“The end being Charlotte’s murder and _ his entire crime syndicate _.” She was furious and her eyes were red rimmed from unshed tears, flushing gashes of red across her face.

“He wanted to die. Everything he built and stood for would dissipate with him more effectively than any jail would do. I did not foresee him to be a problem that would linger- nor did I imagine he would find a way to hurt you like that.” There were so many factors that went into play for this disaster of a showing. Like the eve of a great event and a glaringly obvious blind spot in their worlds.

They had all planned around Chloe without considering her.

“Beatrice was always going to be safe. It’s only you that I seem to hurt without any attention.” When Chloe hadn’t moved Lucifer leant over and saw her teetering at the edge of sleep. He’d gentle moved her back to lay along the couch cushions but Chloe curled herself closer to him, head in the crook of his neck, soundly asleep for what looked like the first time in days.

It was weaknesses in him that moved his arm over her shoulders and hold her closer to him and not to slip. The sun was setting when Beatrice returned to the darkened house and glanced once at her mother before lowering her music and walking into her room. Lucifer could hear the slow attentions of items and rustle of clothes and realized it felt familiar.

He’d been in this place before. Idling around in the apartment while Beatrice got ready for the night. So often in fact that the noise of it was familiar as music he’d like to keep in a box ready to play when this was all inevitably end for him.

…

Chloe woke up in her bed still feeling exhausted from yesterday the impromptu meeting with her friends and the subsequent hissy fit she'd thrown. There was so much she was feeling bad for and this whole time they stayed quiet- Maze even made things worse by trying to set up everything.

Not for the first morning since she found out exactly what was going on with her partner did Chloe wonder what eternity in hell was going to be like. Those thoughts couldn't linger since the door to her bedroom crept open with Trixie padding in her pajamas.

"Good morning Monkey." Her daughter was silent as she crawled into the bed and under the sheets. "I'm sorry for yesterday. I know you don't like fighting and that shouldn't have happened in front of you." Chloe brush a kiss on her head and pulled the covers up more.

"I'm tired mommy." Chole hummed and pulled Trixie closer. She didn't think the girl was asleep tired and waited for her to continue. Sure it was an interrogation technique but it worked.

"Being angry at Maze makes me tired but she's the one that made me angry." Chloe sighed and knew this one was going to take some selling after her reaction yesterday.

"Trixie, Maze didn't make you angry- you made you angry. What she did was hurt your feelings and you could have felt so many different ways. I'm a little happy you didn't get too sad about it...but there are different ways to become upset without being angry." Trixie blew a raspberry at her.

"I know what it sounds like. Yesterday wasn't a great day for me because I didn't put a real thought into how I was feeling. They didn't say mean things, just disappointed me because I was the one that expected more from them. And that part is on me." Trixie stayed quiet and snuggled closer into the blankets.

Chloe didn't have a bad childhood by any means but it was very different from the one she was trying to give her daughter. The precinct wasn't a good place for kids so most of her time had been spent with her mother and other star adjacent children. There wasn't a whole lost of time just dedicated to snuggling in bed and parsing through what emotions were. Her mom could act with the best of them and her father had something of a black and white mentality as a beat cop in 80s. The first time she really parsed through her emotions was after her dad was shot and she'd punched the reporter.

It felt great.

And sent enough warning bells off that this couldn't happen again...and that she probably wasn't as in control as she thought she was if she could scream Linda and Maze out of her house.

"I'm still so sorry Monkey. Did you have something for dinner." The dark head nodded into the down.

"Yeah Mom. Lucifer ordered Chinese before he left last night. He looked...upset, too." At least her partner was still on his money. Although there was a good chance her was going to be dressed up like her again today. It set him on the wrong foot when _ he _ had to be the responsible one (even if it wasn't his job). "We have leftovers for you." Apparently food was enough to get her out of the funk as she scampered out of the room and into the kitchen.

As they reheated the crab ragoon and lo mein, someone rang the doorbell and followed up the knocking with a cut and a shave.

"Wassap! I need to borrow you both today." Ella and Ella's ponytail bounced into the house and looked around at the mess and bible thrown across the floor. Trixie sent her a look.

"Great to see you, Ella. Who sent you?" Trixie folded her arms and stared at the other woman- the bad cop then.

"Sent me? Oh man, oh man. Can't a girl just want to spend time with her girlsss- yeah, I got texts from Linda. But! I could still use your help. My idiot brother back in Detroit said something about me being a big baby. I'm going to redo my facebook and I wanna borrow Trixie for it." Ella smiled and pulled out two cartoon shirts in their respective sizes as well as colored hair ties. The forensic scientist placed a pinkie to the edge of her mouth. "I shall call her...Mini-Me." Chloe smiled at Trixie who seemed _ far _ less bad cop and more than ready to get changed.

"How about it, Monkey?" Trixie was down to be a botched clone. If Chloe had sent a picture of her in the full lab coat get up to Dan and Lucifer, well, that was just her business.

…

They’re in Lucifer’s garage working on fine detailing the cars themselves. Logically she knows that he has clothes that aren’t that indecently short robe and his form fitting suitsbut seeing him in a tank and jeans covered in grease is a sight. Sympathy forDevil had come on and he took the time to leer over and waggle his eyebrows. 

They’ve changed the fluids in her car and she was half way through cleaning all the candy and assorted mess from the last few months of chaos when the call came in.

“Decker. “ Lucifer’s trying desperately to get her attention, pantomiming all starts of ludicrous things(were some of those even options?). “Yes. Of course. Yes, sir. No. Under no condition. Yes. Understood.” The grease rag is twisting in his hands while urging her to end the call faster. Chloe ended the call and pulled him directly into a hug Ella would have been proud of.

“We’re both cleared. We go back to work in two weeks.”

“_ Detective _.” She feels her feet lift off the ground and twirl her around. “Change of plans tonight- we’ll have someone else take care of the cars and you and I will celebrate at Lux.”

He’d asked her to the penthouse before the party started to ensure that everything was done properly. What he’d meant by that was taking one look at her rose gold dress, saying she made everything slightly more difficult than it had to be, and holding up the fabrics of his shirt and handkerchiefs for the most appropriate match.

“You know Detective,” He began while buttoning up a paisley gold patterned shirt that was _ close enough _, “with our days looking to me occupied with work again- and doubtless there are half a dozen cold cases by now waiting for us- it might be prudent to really give it our complete attention once we get back.” Lucifer adjusted his sleeves and ran his hands over her shoulder to smooth our lines that only he could see.

“I completely agree. Heads down and closures up.” She took his offered arm and Lucifer led them over to the elevator to get into Lux proper.

“Absolutely. The keen eyed focus to show we’re still the best partnership the LAPD could ever hope to have. You know by now how I feel about the work.” He wasn’t looking at her at all and his eyes were set dead ahead which was practically a screaming red alarm that he was nervous about something. Lucifer never saw an elephant in the room he didn’t want to beam a light on. “We can put a hold on our divorce proceedings. Just think about it.” He put a finger to her lips, barely a touch, and brought them to the stairs overlooking the party.

“Good news tonight! By the end of the months the streets will once again be much safer; Our suspensions are over!” Lucifer grabbed her hand and brought it up among the cheers of the crowd below and started bouncing to the beat of the music.

“Really Lucifer we need to talk about this,” This time it wasn’t his hand that stop her from going but the seamless dip he’d dropped her into a few stairs from the end. The only thing keeping her from falling was Lucifer’s hold on her.

“We’ve been talking for days, Detective, let’s have a dance.” She had enough brief dance lessons to take the few steps back from his lead and had been completely thrown off by his strength. A familiar riff starts and the crowd roared to life again with “I Fought the Law” blaring through the speaker at Lux. Chloe looked over at Lucifer who smirked and started mouthing along the words to her as they cut across the floor.

It wasn’t their only dance of the night and she was nearly exhausted before collapsing into a booth with a glass of water. Lucifer was at the other end filling in some business. Apparently he took his “work” at Lux very seriously as well even if no one could figure how he managed to keep this place open without violating half a dozen tax laws. Chloe looked down at the paperwork and looked at the agent with Lucifer. It was her building complex’s manager. Dread crept up in her stomach when she looked at the list of eviction notices and Mazikeen Smith’s name on the list.

“Lucifer? What’s this?” For a second her looked worried and put on that stupid fake grin of his.

“Nothing you need to worry about.” As if he were trying to be inconspicuous he pulled the sheet underneath a few others.

“I need to go. I need some air- just” Chloe got out of the booth and rushed back to the elevator to the penthouse. She was in no condition to leave yet or even want to. She had a few glasses of water when Lucifer followed in cautiously.

“What’s happening with the apartment?” He took off his suit jacket and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt- the clearest indication that he was done for today.

“It appears that Mazikeen has not sent the rent for the past several months of her little tiff. You’d needn’t worry, Detective, I-“

“No!” she’d had enough and felt the clarity she’d been missing since _ everything _ happened that day. “No, you shouldn’t fix this. I can’t. This is too much for me to deal with.” Lucifer was trying to reach out and she moved further away.

“No, no! Stop Lucifer!” He recoiled faster than if she’s smacked him across the face. She gasped for air in dizziness as the base thudding below the floor faded the silence in the room.

“If it were just a single problem this might have been easier. I can deal with your Luciferness and supernatural mojo, or I could deal with everyone else in my life letting me down, _ or _ the fact that God- Your father!- has decided that we’re married. This is insane, you get that right?”

“Chloe.” It was the use of her real name and the strangled way he said it that made it all the worse.

“Lucifer. You’ve been…you’ve been everything I could have wanted in a friend and partner. It’s the boundaries that won’t work. You can’t be my everything like this.” Chloe pulled out her phone and ordered the Uber to take her home (as long as the locks hadn’t been changed). “I thought if we worked together we could fix this like a case. I was wrong.”

“I needed time before…and I still do. Just a little time, _ please _.” Fully sober and shivering from the rage and shock, Chloe left the penthouse and flinched when the sound of glasses shattering could be heard through the elevator doors.

Through the ride home she scrolled through her phone and saw #Deckerstar trending again with the picture of their joined hands at Lux.

…

“Would it be too cliché for me to say Be Not Afraid?” Chloe was throwing out some of the groceries Maze claimed to have wanted stocked in the house when Amenadiel knocked and entered her soon to be gone apartment.

“Yes. Yes it would.” She hadn’t really had many thoughts on Lucifer’s brother and on the near constant state of reflection her life had become but she supposed now would be as good as a time to confront them.

“I thought I might make myself available if you had any questions for me.” And there it was, a deep flash of anger that she commiserated with Lucifer on. The sheer intolerance of letting something who’d hurt other get away scot free. The words felt thick in her mouth.

“If you have your wings back now, shouldn’t you be on your way to Hell?” Amenadiel started and stared at her.

“I’m afraid there’s been a mistake-“

“I know you’re an angel. According to Linda and everyone else you didn’t try to fool,” he winced, good, “ you’d said you fallen and lost your powers but they didn’t say why.” She pinned him down with a look. “So are you going to Hell or not.” He sighed and sat on one of the stools and shoulders hunched over.

“I can understand why you’re being so antagonistic. A good deal of angst on your part was due to my actions and how I’d mishandled the situation. What I should have done for you, done for you both, was apologize. I’m here now, Chloe.” Amenadiel looked up at her and the direct line of sight had the same ageless feel as Lucifer’s – and from it she felt nothing.

“That’s not a sorry. I’ll ask you again: when are you going to Hell to rule in Lucifer’s place.” He stared at her some more and she knew this was going to need a little more explanation. “I put together a lot of what was said the past few years and I think _ now _ I have a decent idea of this story.”

“When Lucifer quit as the King of Hell, you had to go guard its gates instead. You _ fell _ …but not as much as Lucifer had to. Now, God’s decided that we’re married. _ He _ doesn’t want Lucifer back in Hell and none of your siblings can force him now, can they?” Chloe poured him a cup of cran-apple juice that didn’t have enough left to merit moving to wherever she was going.

“And then, you know, I thought about it some more. How you were always saying that Lucifer was your dad’s favorite son, that he had everything.” Amenadiel was giving her his full attention and nothing stirred his hands away from the grip on the counter. “And you’re completely right. Lucifer is God’s favorite son. He was given a whole kingdom to run.” If he didn’t hear the sarcasm it wouldn’t be her fault. Any number of her conversations with Lucifer were little jabs at each other until the humor caught too many snags.

“Doesn’t it just feel awful to have someone back you into a corner you can’t get out of?” The angel of the lord stayed quiet, still. There was nothing left in the fridge for her to clean out and just the last duffels that would go to Dan’s apartment with Trixie.

…

The exuberant feeling of success did not arise in Her when the court case was dismissed and the client, guilty as all of her son’s Hell, walked away without even the slightest hint of punishment. If Her children couldn’t see what sort of creatures these people were what would finally show them? The two most honest beings in the room _ should _ have indicted enough punishment to appease their stupid morals or ethics.

It was a little disgusting seeing what became of all of her husband’s little toys. Certainly, a far cry from the sweet curiosity of Lilith and Adam but then again murder followed from that sweetness as well. Instructions lost in translation, indeed.

Her worm of a client clapped her on the shoulder and tilted his head towards her son and the detective. “It’s a wonder no one asked if they’re screwing on the job yet.” Admittedly it wasn’t the first time she’d heard someone in court imply that they two were together sexually but something finally clicked- divine inspiration that she’d had felt since being trapped in Hell.

Lucifer was _ obsessed _ with this detective. She knew the rest of humanity was really a paltry distraction and how little he cared on a personal basis but the detective was different. He’d killed Uriel to protect both of them. If there were a few things She knew it was the kind of human that would make it into the Silver City upon their death; Chloe Decker would be one of them. Call it a radiant aura, predetermination, whatever, Decker was going to Heaven. If there was anything that could get home over that threshold of not going home this human was the key.

“You- I don’t care what you’re doing, get me these forms.” She scribbled down the official forms from that law book. If this human’s body had been good for one thing it was a very respectable fear mongering. The documents were easy enough- most of the information was pulled from the files she’d had on the detective and the information her son kept littered around everywhere. You’d think that after being the victim of identity theft he’d be more cautious but that has never Lucifer.

“Ma’am…don’t _ they _ need to sign this?” The lights flickered and the clerk got a dazed look in his eye before putting all the paperwork through. Signed and sealed.

When the time was right she’d let her Lucifer know what She managed for him and it would send him off to heaven in a hot second.

…

"Ello, what do we have here? The worst remake of the Breakfast Club I've ever seen?" Lucifer didn't think anyone would be in Lux before 10 am. Instead in Amendeials' regular booth were him, his disgusting appletini, Dr. Martin, and Maze with their own respective drinks and staring forlornly at the lacquered table top.

"Morning Lucifer. We're trying to figure out the next course of action." He adjusted the shirt sleeves and sniffed at the toxic paint varnish Maze had mixed up.

"Regarding...?"

"We fucked up. We _ really _ fucked up." Linda was three sheets to the wind already and threw a piece of paper across the table, only slightly crumpled up. On it was a list of options, some crossed out and some left blank on how to make amends with Chloe. Linda continued, "It was all really easy to make it about Angels and Demons, and your mother, and just _ everything _ in the universe that we just forgot that Chloe was a person underneath all that. You know she," Linda hiccupped and tilted herself forward "You know she buries so much of herself in work that it just flicks like hey! Chloe is the police. She's the law, truth, the American way and-" He could see the word on the tip of the tongue as could his brother who finally chose to butt into Linda's ramblings.

"And Justice. Lain we are here who have been judged. "He took an aggressive sip of his appletini. Lucifer stared around at Maze who'd said nothing.

"Well then what are you bollixing around here? Go talk to her." They stopped and it dawned on him. "You can't be afraid of her."

"Lucy, I haven't been dressed down like that since Mother caught me teaching Remy how to stab Uriel." It appeared that the girls knew what he'd been speaking about and nodded. Maze finally pipped up.

"She can be a ruthless bitch and I can respect that. I need something to say I'm sorry but I don't think the blood of her enemies is going to help." It looked like she was still considering it anyway.

"What am I the bloody wizard of Oz? Pay the rent, say you're sorry, give her some heavenly serenity." He'd pointed to each of them in sequence wondering why he had to solve their problems.

"Can't. She's not here to say sorry to. S'why I'm drinking at 9 in the morning." His blood ran cold at Linda's confession.

"What." It was Amenadiel that explained further and put Chloe's house keys on the table.

"I spoke with Dan. Chloe's left town for a bit and Beatrice is staying with him." Lucifer excused himself. Maze wasn’t far behind with a burp and taking some cash out of the register with a “I’ve got this!”.

...

It wasn’t the most disheveled he’d been in her office but it was also by far one of the worst. He’d done nothing but run his hair through his hair enough that the product became useless and his shirt was rumpled. In his haste to pull out his phone for the many calls he’d made the pocket edge had been torn.

“Lucifer, calm down.” Linda passed him a glass of water and he’d simply stared. What was water going to do?

“She’s _ gone _.” If he paid attention carefully enough, he’d see that Linda wasn’t her normal put together self, either. This morning at Lux hadn’t been the best for her professional candor but they all have off day and it had been Lucifer’s scheduled time anyway.

“You know she’ll be back.”

“When Amenadiel gave me the keys I rushed over and thought I could catch her.” He gripped the small box tighter. “Everything was gone. She’d patched the walls and boxed Maze’s things together. Beatrice’s things were gone-“ The signs on her door and her pictures left the house and empty place. It was sterile and clean.

“Dan mentioned that you called him in a panic.” His hands were shaking and he had to let go of the box in order to drink the water.

“The Detective never struck me as one to abandon her child. I thought something terrible had happened.” Lucifer could admit to himself that he didn’t want it to be true. That Chloe was fine and capable of picking up the pieces of her life and leaving without him. Their partnerships, the words, and the paperwork weren’t enough. Linda calmly explained that Trixie hadn’t been abandoned and hedged more towards his feelings on the matter for being abandoned by Chloe and his Father.

“You were right about what to ask. All of these delays with the courts were things I could have fixed. I’m Lucifer Bloody Morningstar and I bent to the will of people’s whim and well wishes. No, I wanted to stay married to her. The Detective wanted to be free and I waved my hands around as if I couldn’t fix everything.”

“What did you think would happen if you had caught her before she left?” Lucifer’s hands were shaking when he placed the ring box on the table in front of them. Linda gaped at the engagement ring and very much dented box that was in front of her.

“If I did it right then maybe I could make it real. We wouldn’t have to change anything.” It was rather typical of him, he thought, as the gemstones on the ring caught the light and laid little rainbows along the table. He knew the Detective would have appreciated their clarity…even without their intent. He had something truly precious in his grasp and driven it away all the same.

“The professional part of me wants to ask what you thought an engagement ring would do to help your divorce but I get the feeling that this wasn’t a purchase for practicality’s sake.” Linda took a guarded look around the room and closed the ring’s box and diminishing the soft light around it.

“My advice is to go home and rest. This is giving Chloe what she’s been asking for and you cannot keep flip flopping your emotions over it. Talk to your brother and really think through what all of this means. The sun will come up, rain will be wet, and Chloe Decker will come back.” Like the punctuation of a sentence all Lucifer could do was try to believe it and fiddling the velvet lined box.

…

“It’s been ONE WEEK SINCE YOU LOOKED AT ME~” Lucifer watched Ella Lopez dance around the precinct humming along to a song he didn’t realize how much he’d hated until that point.

“Hey, thanks for this man. I’m sure they’re going to throw a welcome back for you guys as well.” He was only here in the capacity of picking up the Spawn in lieu of everyone else being missing or at this welcome back party.

“Cocked your head to the side and said I’m angry~”

“Yes, well. As needs must.” He was gracious with himself that this was hard for him. Those moments he knew he would never be allowed back again were gone and he’d take whatever he could. “Come, Spawn.” Beatrice waved and hugged her father good-bye before following after him. Most conspicuously was the lack of any audible paraphernalia around her ears. He waited until they were in the car to address it with her.

“Done with blocking out the rest of the world are we?” Beatrice nodded.

“Mom talked to me before she left on vacation. She said that it was okay to be alone when I needed it but I shouldn’t be rude about people wanting to talk to me. I know you don’t like it.” She was still a bit subdued and he could only imagine that Chloe’s departure was hurting her as much as it had him.

“I suppose I was a bit too strong in perspective as well. Now, don’t forget what you’ve been taught already. There are special rooms in hell reserved for people that don’t use their blinkers. Yes, now lightly on the gas, turn, and off.”

“You know Mom said I can’t drive yet. I’m only nine.”

“Well you can reach the pedals and if she wishes to yell at me she’ll have to be here to do so. You can make that yellow light just speed up.” Beatrice nodded and pulled onto the highway with more ease of experience. “That a girl.”

They’d arrived safely only spending a few more minutes in Lux’s parking deck than would be usual. Lucifer acknowledged that her lack of height would make parallel parking difficult and told her to pull into another spot. It was hard to think that just a few days ago he was in this very same place experiencing a joyful reaction with Chloe.

“Lucy! Something’s happened in the Silver City-“ It was a disaster in the making. Amenadiel swooped down _ literally _ with the great span of his wings very nearly outstripping the size of the car itself.

“What. The. F@#%” Both brothers started at Beatrice who stared back at them, mouth completely agape.

…

“I’ve said before that I wasn’t going to do this but here we are, I guess.” Lucifer wasn’t sure who was the least prepared person in the room: Linda, who’d been tricked over by Amenadiel, his brother, who was mildly offended that he’d erred on such a terrible level (again), Beatrice Decker, or himself.

“You’re…an angel.” His brother had the least perceptiveness for tact he’d ever encountered in several lifetimes. There were _ charming _ humor pieces about open mouth-insert foot to what he’d said. “And you’re…the _ devil _ Devil.” There was something in her dark eyes that hadn’t been there when she was much younger. There was reality to all of this now and neither of her parents were around to soothe the fear. His brother tried again.

“Be not afraid.” The girl twisted to look at him like she would see every flaw in his character.

“I’m not afraid.” She was certainly her mother’s daughter. Linda shrugged and tapped her finger on the edge of the couch- children weren’t her ideal patients. Beatrice looked around and frowned again. “What does it mean that Maze’s face was like that?” She had a great future is never pulling punches ahead of her.

“Mazikeen is a demon. She came with me when I decided to leave Hell.”

“Then if she said she’s sorry…she _ really _ meant it?” A bright little star, this one was, learning already to weight the words of one being from another. Linda did have something to offer on behalf of her friend.

“Maze has been regretting what she said to you for ages, and that she wasn’t a good friend.” The doctor held Beatrice’s hand to comfort her. “I know a lot of things were said but I think it needs to be made clear that no one in this room wants to hurt you or your mother.” Step one on easing the primordial fear. The child was still staring a little blankly.

“What does it mean after we die?” Linda made a pained grimace and a deep wheeze-she was tapped out for the night.

“Upon death your soul is judged based on your guilt. If you’re weight down by guilt and misery you’ll end up in Hell. Your mother is…almost certainly going to be going to heaven.” The benefits, Lucifer supposed, of being a miracle.

“If Mom’s going to heaven, and being guilty sends you to hell…and Lucifer and Maze are from there…that means when she dies she’s never going to see them or dad again?” No one wanted to mention the coarse evaluation she’d had of her father or knew how to answer the question. Linda held her hand a little tighter.

“…I suppose. If you live a good life, she’ll have you as well.” Beatrice blinked and seemed to weigh it all in front of her.

“How’s it fair…that she doesn’t get to be with everyone she loves because someone made her like that. It’s stupid. Lucifer, is it true?” While he didn’t want to accredit his father with too many good ideas, the intelligence of the Decker line did not come from his brother’s blessing. It was adorable how their Father’s great plan fell to horribly misguided pieces when faced with the prospect of actual human interactions. Lucifer crouched down in front of her.

“Very little my Father does is fair. For all the things I could offer yourself or your mother I cannot give you answers to the questions that burden your soul. Neither can Mazikeen. A great lot of this recent calamity has been a joke at my expense. Your mother needed time to come to grips with all of this.” It felt rotten to his very core but he offered to have Beatrice spend the night with Linda if she was too frightened to stay with him.

“I’ll stay here. But I think I want to go to bed now.” In a move of unparalleled greatness, Beatrice leaned over and hugged him before heading off to the spare room he’d shown her earlier. The door was shut with a soft click. Lucifer knew she wasn’t going to be getting a lot of sleep that night. Linda took this opportunity to head out as well, giving them both a hug and a discreet reminder that this wouldn’t constitute for office hours or professional emergency.

“Now, Brother, that you’ve gone and cocked that one up.” Amenadiel did look slightly ashamed, “Care to tell me _ exactly _ what is going on in the Silver City and why any of those affairs concern me?” He could admit he wasn’t in the kindest of moods but these situations were going beyond the pale and swung his hand in agitation. “I swear if you say Dad’s gone on a hunting trip you’re on your own.”

“Enoch was seen toiling the doors to Father’s throne room. He even started talking to the other Archangels. Brother, if Enoch is working again, that means Father is planning something.” Lucifer rolled his eyes with such a force that it might have been felt on multiple astral planes.

“_ Really? _ The buggering hell- I told you what Dad’s been doing. Have you missed the _ everything _ happening the past three years?” Sometimes he couldn’t quite understand how dim his own family could be.

“This is serious, Lucy. This will have been the first time Father’s spoken to any of us as himself or through Enoch since the great flood-“ Lucifer held up a finger to interrupt.

“No, this will be the first communication you _ angels _ have had. Besides his telegram of uselessness about Mum, I had spoken to him, not Enoch, during the whole Job debacle. Am I now to understand that Father had been ignoring his dutiful children for millennia?” Amenadiel paced back and forth while holding onto the necklace given to him by their father.

“The whole reason he had taken -“ Lucifer waved him off.

“Yes, yes. Because he had the communication skills of a cat. Perhaps he should have thought of that before casting me down and throwing Mum out. Now, do you think you can handle this little revelation alone, or do you intend on scaring anymore children tonight?” He ran a hand over his face in pure frustration. Chloe would be absolutely enraged at Beatrice finding out like this. As his brother departed and left him with a scared child, he knew he couldn’t lose himself into the crowd at Lux that night. 

“I've got a little black book with my poems in.Got a bag with a toothbrush and a comb in.When I'm a good dog, they sometimes throw me a bone in. I got elastic bands keepin' my shoes on, got those swollen-hand blues;I got thirteen channels of shit on the T.V. to choose from…” The melody lured Beatrice out of her room and quietly back into the couch with her blanket. 

“I've got electric light and I've got second sight! I got amazing powers of observation. And that is how I know when I try to get through on the telephone to you there'll be nobody home.He was able to hit the keys with a little more force and an impromptu intermezzo. 

“I've got the obligatory Hendrix perm and the inevitable pinhole burns all down the front of my favorite satin shirt. I've got nicotine stains on my fingers, I've got a silver spoon on a chain. Got a grand piano to prop up my mortal remains. I've got wild staring eyes - And I've got a strong urge to fly! But I got nowhere to fly to...Ooh, babe when I pick up the phone there's still nobody home.” He played around with other melodies from the album until her eyes slid shut into a restless sleep. 

…

Candy Fletcher stomped into Lux and slammed a fruit basket/wine bottle combo on the bar before glaring at Lucifer who was slumped over in his chair.

“I don’t know what you’re thinking, but it’s probably very stupid. I thought that maybe I would be the only ex missus Morningstar but given that we’re annulled…_ why _ are you trying to get divorced from Chloe?” Candy was irate enough to visit Los Angeles with the wedding gift she’d wanted to give the not-so newlyweds.

“I’ve told you. We’re not together.” Lucifer had a lost and dazed look to his eyes but he didn’t seem drunk. Just very sad.

“Oh, tell me what’s wrong baby. Didn’t you give her the ring?” She’s seen a picture of the bit of jewelry; it wasn’t to her taste but it would fit the all too serious detective. While she wasn’t _ involved _ , he had sent her periodic updates for advice for the only real women he loved. It made her old romantic heart melt- and she was _ not _ letting this idiot ruin it.

“I told her that we could put the divorce on hold. I just needed a bit more time…” Candy rolled her eyes and threw a coaster at him.

“Telling her you don’t need a divorce is not the same as asking her to marry you for real!”

“It’s the spirit of the letter!”

“No, it’s you being a coward. If Chloe Decker was willing to put up with you and your half truths it does not mean she has to figure out what you mean by herself.” He glared at her and she glared right back. Before she could say anything else a child came downstairs from the penthouse.

“Beatrice, Candy. Candy, Beatrice. This is the Detective’s daughter whom I was watching last evening.” Lucifer hadn’t lifted his head off the bar even s the girl took her seat and eyed her up.

“Spending the night with your Step-dad? How cute.” It really, really was. The two of them bad a weird face at each other and she laughed and couldn’t help but take a photo of them. “I’m serious this is just so adorable. I bet your mom’s going to love this one.” Trap laid out and just wait…a...few…

“You have the detective’s cellphone number?” And now between them were twin looks of suspicion. Candy mmm-ed and made sure they saw some of the previous conversations.

“And her Instagram. There are dozens of pictures of this little one on there.” Chloe wasn’t a mommy-blogger but person with a kid. Plus she seemed to have a little more discretion to not take photos at crime scenes. She tapped Trixie’s nose. “Don’t think I didn’t see _ your _ account in the #deckerstar tag. I don’t get why it was a monopoly piece, though. Anyway, when I ran into her-“ She was cut off, quite rudely.

“Ran into? Where? Is she back?”

“No silly, in Vegas” Lucifer gave a horrible high pitched noise while the child screamed “MOM’S IN VEGAS? What did you _ do _?” at her stepfather. Lucifer looked horrified.

“The Detective went to _ Las Vegas _? This constitutes an emergency; Beatrice, go get your stuff we’ll meet with your father and have the patrol head to Nevada. Clearly she’d lost her sense of reason.” Candy rolled her eyes and pushed him back to his seat.

“She’s fine. Meeting with her mother and then driving back- she should probably be back here any day now.” Candy gestured to the fruit basket as if that were proof enough.

“But like I said, I ran into her and decided to take a leaf out of your book.” He still looked pained and whimpered out a weak “The truth?”. Candy quirked her eyebrow, “That and a few body shots. She knows about _ our _ marriage and what exactly it was for.”Trixie gave a questioning look before going to grab her overnight bag and the timely return to her father. 

…

Chloe stared out the window of the twenty four hour dinner watching Maze fiddle with her phone and looking like she was trying to geolocate something-most likely her. Normally that would have been a good thing since the rent a car she’d used broke down and had been towed hours ago. The neon lights flickered and the room got darker for a minute before the lights came on brighter than before casting an illuminating glow along the chrome details. Maze through the window seemed even darker. Chloe looked around the booth and both the short order cook and waitress had gone disappeared. The smell of brewed coffee, greasy food, and heated plastic that were embedded into everything was gone as well. She looked back and a man was in front of her.

She’d never seen him before and knew who He was. Chloe had told Lucifer that he’d looked like a homeless magician once, but that seemed to describe his Father better.

“Mazikeen is a keen huntress and dedicated servant to my son, but she has no soul, no magic or ethereal sense to herself. Places like these diners are liminal spaces…and it’s where I can come in for a time or two.” Chloe always thought that one day or another she would be speaking with Lucifer’s father but the circumstances dimmed after finding out the truth. “You’ll do well, after Enoch.”

“Everyone keeps saying that you’re not answering them. Why come to me?” He didn’t speak for a minute and seemed dazed. The clock on the wall didn’t move so Chloe prompted again, “Shouldn’t you be talking to your children?”

“Forgive me, my dear,” He managed to start without sounding condescending as most people were when they gave her pet names, “all of my children’s charisma came from their Mother. I’m afraid I’m lacking traits anyone would find desirable in a conversation.” He looked dazedly again and drew fathomless eyes onto her. “The last time I had spoken directly to any of my children was the battlement of Job’s soul and devotion.”

“You allowed Lucifer to torture him to prove that without all of his success he would abandon you. He didn’t?” It had been in all the books she’d read. He took the salt and started pouring it on the table.

“Yes. That is how I had the writings influenced. My wife before her hatred helped in much of the splendor of the world: charm, grace, and the personality. I could only try to inspire the humans to create for me. You see, that was the last time I had spoken directly to any of my children. It was also the first time I understood what had become of my son.” The salt kept pouring and so did the story.

“I intended Lucifer to see this as a healing chance. If he…if he repented or showed even an ounce of contrition all would have been forgiven. So I allowed myself to be bartered into the deal. He could torture and ruin this man’s life and he’d stay faithful. You know the damages and the earthly resolution: Job kept the faith and I restored all to him.” The salt shaker still wasn’t empty and the pile was spreading across the table like sand. “I wasn’t cautious with my words and he sat there and took what I presumed was his defeat in silence.” Still pouring.

“He told me what was the point of being omniscient if I didn’t _ understand _ that I’d lost already. How could I have lost?” Chloe decided she didn’t like where this was going. “He did not want to serve the humans I’d created and had no love for them. Detective Decker. My son stared back at me with his devil face and told me that Job’s piety or not, it showed exactly who _ I _was. I was allowing him to break the rules I’d set forth to prove a point and that I truly didn’t have any love in my heart for humans. He explained in so many words that hypocrisy wasn’t charming.” He stopped with the salt and started flattening it against the table. Even knowing that this was God, Chloe felt she was looking at some kind of broken man (and if she still saw a lot of Lucifer in him that was for her to know).

“It cut me as sure as Azreal’s dagger would. It was only then did I comprehend what had happened to him.” He dragged his finger through the salt, dividing it in half. “In my own anger I hurt my child and tore something from my family. I could not bear to answer them until I knew I wouldn’t send another one of them into a tailspin.” Chloe watched him move his finger in that empty between his sand piles.

“That’s when I began to think of you.” He finally stopped fidgeting and looked at her. Chloe wanted to look away but couldn’t and stared blankly into His dark eyes. “I spent years thinking of what you should be, what kind of perfect being I could create to heal my son.” Her heart was racing and she felt like her body was separate from her mind- the lights in the dinner got all that much brighter and it made her dizzy.

“It finally came to me what the answer would be: Free Will. Detective Decker, you had been created with a very unique ability. The influence of celestial or infernal powers will not affect your mind. You’re utterly free of its influence.” Her mouth was dry but she managed to rasp out,

“So what does that mean about me and Lucifer?” The salt on the table felt like it was in her skin and draining her dry. He smiled at her and folded his hands together.

“It means that for better or worse, richer or poorer, you like my son for his personality.” Lucifer got his smirk from his father. He slide out of the booth and Chloe felt her body start to shake. He pressed his lips to her forehead as the convulsions started.

On the table the salt shimmied itself into some sort of sigil barely there before everything whited out for her.

…

“Chloe doesn’t take drugs. I don’t even think she knows how.” Chloe groaned and tried to open her eyes but it hurt too much. Dimly she heard Maze yell for an ambulance and tell everyone that this was _ not _ a drug overdose. Her head was splitting, was almost certain she’d pissed herself, and drool was pooling under her cheek. Between that and sheer exhaustion it felt like she’d had a seizure and still had tremors going through her body.

“…Maze?” It was a dry attempt and it hurt to talk. Chloe couldn’t even lift up her head but that was thankfully taken out of her hands- literally. Maze swerved her listless head and thumbed her eyes open wider checking for their dilation.

“Decker. Who did this to you.” Chloe could hear it better now that promise of punishment to whoever did this. Her roommate had come this far just to come and get her. In no time the paramedic arrived and strapped her to the gurney.

Thankfully the emergency room didn’t feel the need to keep her overnight or call her emergency contact (Lucifer) since Maze was there like a feral cat at every nurse that came by. They were more than happy to let her leave after Maze brought a change of clothes.

“Alright Decker, I know you’re pissed at me but we’ve got some shit to do.” Chloe raised her eyebrow and started to stretch her admittance band off her wrist.

“Like what?” Maze pulled out her knife and cut the plastic blend and started fidgeting with the blade.

“You don’t do drugs and you’re not sick. _ Someone _ had poisoned you enough to cause you to have a seizure. We’re going to find them and I’ll apologize with their organs. No mess for you to deal with.” Maze was acting like a herself and the faint hum of the electric streetlight reminded her of just what caused the black out in the diner.

“…I was talking to Lucifer’s father.” Even knowing that her roommate was a demon the almost dead stillness to her form said more than any words would. Maze put the blade away and met her in the eyes.

“Okay. Always knew this title fight was going to start someday.” Chloe looked at Maze, dead serious in her proclamation as she shrugged her shoulders back and forth completely ready to pitch a fight. As if she knew where this was going she explained, “I _ know _ I messed up. There were some things that hurt me and I never had to learn how to deal with it. Even when everyone else thought I was stupid enough to leave murder evidence” -note the emphasis on evidence and not murder– “You thought and knew better. If I’m going to fight heaven…then I guess it could be worse than doing it for a friend.”

Maybe it was the whirlwind her life had been and the conversation with God but it seemed like a good idea at the time. With a little smile Chloe took the knife away from Mazikeen and made a cut across her palm.

“How about less War on Heaven and more on getting that blood pact finished?” Maze’s eyes widened and then an evil grin took over as she repeated the process herself and embraced their hands.

“You always surprise me, Decker. Ready to go home?” If they were going to comment that Maze hadn’t let go of her hand the moment for it passed as they made their way over to her motorcycle.

“Home, yes. I still need some time away from Lucifer and everything- you know what? I finally come THIS close to being able to handle it all and then God decided he needs to talk to me.” Chloe might have been in the dark about the biblical aspects of her friends’ lives but she knew them as people and what healthy relationships meant. No matter what would happen or could happen between them she knew she was right in that Lucifer couldn’t be her everything, as much as he would like that.

“Fine. You, me. We’ll have enough liquor to kill you and then we’ll start the war with heaven.” Maze whooped and shifted into a higher gear as they speed home.

“By the way! We don’t have an apartment anymore so I don’t really know where we’re going!” They might have veered and very _ nearly _ hit the ground while Maze course corrected.

“Fuck it, we’ll break into the apartment.” There was actually _ one _ other place she still had the keys for…

“Actually…I think I know someplace.” Maze revved the bike up as they sped towards the Los Angeles lights.

…

Lucifer didn’t bother to pick his head up at the sound of a couple of people coming in. While Lux wasn’t open properly yet plenty of the dancers and bartenders used this time as an opportunity to relax and get themselves prepared for the long night. Amenadiel was sitting at the bar drinking one of his awful concoctions still trying to parse through the wringing out Chloe had given him. Suddenly he was the one everyone had been asking about Chloe’s breakdown.

“Lucy, does she want me in Hell as an insult or is it a metaphor?” He still didn’t pay mind to anyone milling around as he simultaneously tuned the piano and ignore his brother until the person next to him cleared their throat for his attention. It was-

“Detective.” She looked rested, like she’d had slept for a week. He missed her. A moment’s whiplash before he screamed out “Time!” for Amenadiel. His brother for once did not put up any resistance and froze the room when something extraordinary happened- the Detective blinked and moved with a soft ‘huh’. Amenadiel looked back and forth to confirm that he hadn’t fallen yet again.

“Lucifer. Amenadiel. Nothing’s wrong.” The words felt heavy in the air as had most of what she’d said as of late. Chloe bit her lip and pulled an upscale shop’s bag in front of her before taking slow steps to sit aside him on the bench.

His brother had asked how but he was too busy staring at Chloe, taking all of her in, just in case this would be the last time. Like half a dozen times before, Chloe tapped keys slowly with a single finger.

“So,” she started and hit a few keys, “I talked to your Dad.” It was clear understanding in her eyes, a shared look of having seen too much for a mortal soul to comprehend but he didn’t have the words to give to her on what had happened- if something had even occurred. Lucifer found himself short of break and trying incessantly to breathe deeper. The Detective held his hand.

“He explained few things about me. I apparently have the Freeist Will of them all.” She laughed and slide the bag onto her lap removing her hand only to fiddle around with the bag and remove something before putting it down again. Lucifer felt too still to investigate- it was like Amendial’s influence was affecting him as well. 

“I think I was okay about all of this before we both knew. Somewhere along the line I really lost focus on the things that matter. It’s not just about checking boxes off, do you get what I’m saying?” Dumbly he shook his head no still in bafflement of the veritable hordes of information she was dropping on him. His brother was in the background slowly growing more and more stunned yet did not dare break the silence or stillness of the word around them. Lux was frozen utterly still.

“Detective, I’m sorry but I need you to be clearer.” His Candy colored conscious could shut up.

“We went into the divorce wanting to fix things between us. All I wanted was to get my partner back. I…I forgot I had you all along.” Truth, plain and simple. Chloe slid of the chair and let her knees fall to the floor- from the bag she pulled out a new Louboutin shoe in what looked to be his size, soles completely pristine and brilliant red.

“Lucifer. You’re my partner in just about everything. Would you…I mean,” she blushed and stuttered, “Lucifer, will you be my shoe?” If he imagined that any conversation with his father would lead them both here, he would have _ eaten _ that shoe. Numbly, he pulled the ring out of his pocket and offered it to her, no response given.

“My intention, Detective, was to be truthful to you. While all the world was still I’d have arranged a proposal worthy of you,” Lucifer grinned and guided her to stand up, shoes left on the bench. “And you’ve out done me.” Kissing Chloe Decker wasn’t something he’d think he would get used to, even as he took the ring from the box and slid it onto her finger.

The world started again- figuratively and literal.

…

Lux was shut down to the waiting crowds of people due to the very important Engagement Party that never was for ones Lucifer Morningstar and Chloe Decker. While the now happy couple were flittering around greeting people and colleagues, their closest friends and family found themselves looking down from the stairs at everything happening. It was Ella’s bizarre behavior with two phones that got the others interest.

“Ellen. What do you need two phones for?” The younger woman stuttered out work response even as it was snatched away. Truth was her hobby made getting a second cheaper phone necessary.

“Holy shit. The #Deckerstar tag on all the sites was _ you?! _” It made sense, now, how there were #TBT pics that were honest throwbacks.

(Perhaps it was telling that Chloe’s first act was giving the demon Mazikeen a soul, even if no one realized it at the time or even now. She wears a crown well, too.)

“That’s a real invasion of privacy, Ella. Then again I don’t think either of them really care what people think about them anymore so, “Linda shrugged while beaming down at the couple on the dance floor.

(Dr. Linda Martin is on the path of living to a ripe old age that hadn’t been seen since the first patriarchs. Consequently, she only fears death because of the extended family waiting at either end of the afterlife and the growing suspicion that she’ll be playing therapist for the rest of eternity.)

“Mmm. I’d care more but this is _ Lucifer _ and _ Chloe _. I’ve been waiting for this- I’ve been praying for it to happen. They’re just so great for one another. You can see it like BAM!”

(Unlike Job hundreds of years before her, Ella never has her piety tested. Lucifer wouldn’t stand for it.)

“Oh, Praying. You’ve been praying for Lucifer and Chloe to hook up.” Amenadiel was less than impressed that this was what someone as devout as Ella would be praying for but given his Father’s will maybe she knew better.

(It is years later when what Chloe said to him rings true and the heavenly throne in the Silver City is empty and needing a ruler that more of the angels key onto the fact that maybe Chloe was training to be the _ Metatron _ longer than they thought.)

“More like praying that they stop that back and forth. Even I knew something was up between them.” Dan grinned at Amenadiel and clinked his beer against Ella’s, the hero of the hour and party. By now she should have a job as Lux’s hype man.

(Guilt is as guilt does, and all the weight of angst he’d given his ex-wife and daughter, not to mention his own duplicitous nature as cop, especially in light of the good, gracious people around them...Daniel still ends up in Hell.)

“If the Douche over here can wish them the best so can we. I need to throw her an ACTUAL bachelorette this time.” Maze wrung her arm around Dan and flash her teeth at the other tribe members, both of whom went a little green.

(It’s okay, he knows a girl.)

…and I think that’s about where I’m leaving them. I’ve been trying to find a good way to say I’m sorry. I was lost, my dear, in how well I’d wanted this universe to go.

It’s being left in good hands. You were right about Lucifer all along, but I think he still needed to learn a few things along the way.

He looked around the throne room of the Silver City once more, nodded to Enoch to lock the door for a few more years until Lucifer would be _ ready _ to take the Silver City.

Nothing up his sleeve, He drew out Azreal’s dagger and cut through time and space.

Since She didn’t greet him with a slap maybe there was hope in _ this _ universe, too.

**Author's Note:**

> Lucifer wasn't my first semi-religious fandom so I couldn't help but pepper some references to Good Omens, Supernatural, the Devil's Advocate, and most importantly...Dogma. Also, I can't believe there isn't more Accidentally Married fanfic?
> 
> Regarding Enoch, in some canon he was such a good person that he'd ascended to heaven without dying and might have become the Metatron.


End file.
